As much as I love small businesses, sometimes you just give into convenience. And that’s okay. You do you fam because self-care is sexy. Here are a curated list of the top 10 items I needed to get 2 day shipping for.
I guess this is my own rendition of #tiktokmademebuyit
Disclaimer: By the way, this site will collect a small commission from the links in the products listed. Ok American friends, do your worst.
Eat food by yourself in your bedroom
Hands down one of the best purchases of my life. No more sit-in kbbq got you sad? No more hotpot because you are forever alone? Fear not. This electric hotpot and grill is the answer because you will never have to pick between two delicious options for dinner, and it comfortably seats 4. Trust me. You have enough pot space for your 3 friends. Also you’ll never have to buy gas.
These hotpot parchment paper is the best thing that I have witnessed in a long time. One of the sadge things about grills is that the oil bounces back at you when it is a plate. But with this round sheet of parchment paper, you can easily clean your grill and prevent oil splatters. Keep 2-3 in handy when you’re eating and you’re all set. Never taste the charcoal on your meat again. Life changing.
Clean your computer gdi
I know your PC has probably been sitting there for months or even years without being touched. Let this be the sign that it’s finally time to clean it. Gone are the times where you will need to purchase literal air. Clean your keyboard, your power supply, your fans, your friends. Blast everyone with a whiff of air because now air is free for the price of $79.89.
Work efficiently with this aesthetic stand
On the subject of technology, your back is probably breaking because of this whole work from home situation. If you live in a city like Toronto, we’re gonna be working from home for the next 6 months, so if you haven’t gotten one of these yet, you really should.
While you’re here you should also grab: 27″ Anti Blue Light Anti Glare Screen Protector Fit Diagonal 27″ Desktop Monitor 16:9 Widescreen, Reduce Glare Reflection and Eyes Strain, Help Sleep Better (23.54″ W x 13.27″ H)
Treat yoself because UberEATS adds up
Lie to yourself that you will be healthy this year. You won’t. So give yourself the illusion of being healthy. Fry your fries without oil and just use air. More air. Probably better than the air I recommended last. Also if you are looking for recipes… reddit is very good for that. Thank me later.
If you are too lazy to watch your pot…
Literally throw your leftovers or whatever was on sale in the value section into this pot with a myriad of mystery seasonings and you’ve got food.
Self care is sexy, trust.
Floss so that when you see people again, your teeth will not be full of tartar because it will take forever for you to book your next dentist appointment amidst the pandemic. The cleaning hurts anyway. Use this to make it hurt less. I got mine from Costco but Amazon shipping beats standing in line and exposure to covid.
Gyms are all closed but there is no excuse.
Get this to fool yourself into thinking 2021 will be the year you get sexy even if it isn’t. At least you tried.
Find friends online
If you got this far and are considering it, you might actually be desperate. The fallback plan is just to pay $450 for Beat Saber. I don’t recommend it but I do know people who have done it.
Begin your OnlyFans e-girl career and profit off of simps
With all the ads on YouTube trying to convince yourself that you need to diversify your income and create extra revenue streams + do your own research about investing in the stonk market, save yourself the effort with these socks. Because you’re not going to do any of that. Instead, I highly recommend injecting yourself a dose of serotonin via these cute cat paw paw socks. They are 3D and make cute gifts for your e-girlfriends. Also good for simping your irl friends.
Disclaimer: these are props for photos that you send to thirsty guys, not for walking.
Obtain 30% more efficiency when programming at your fortune500 tech job
It is scientifically proven that when you wear these, you code better. You will also gain 15+ years coding experience in C, C++, Java and/or C#, 12+ years experience building server applications, and instantly gain a B.S. in Computer Science or related technical fields, programming language design, and compilers. By the power vested in zettai ryouiki and thicc thighs, you will ascend to the agile heavens and gain the following credentials:
- Drive the team’s goals and technical direction to pursue opportunities that make your larger organization more efficient
- Understand industry & company-wide trends to help assess & develop new technologies
- Partner & collaborate with organization leaders to help improve the level of performance of the team & organization
- Identify new opportunities for the larger organization & influence the appropriate people for staffing/prioritizing these new ideas
- Suggest, collect and synthesize requirements and create an effective feature roadmap
Trust me, I said it’s scientifically proven. This is not a scam.
Here is a more #value version: 3 Pairs Valentine’s Day Women Bow Lace Thigh High Stockings Valentine’s Day Over The Knee Socks for Dress Daily Favors (Black with Black Bow, Black with Pink Bow, White with White Bow), or Long Stockings Men Socks Sports Football Socks Over the Knee Socks,Medium,Black
Haters gonna say that this is fake news. But all is 100% real. Do not google.
Here is the computer I made for a full pink PC build – full post to come later.
Also treat yoself because no spas :’)
Tress Wellness Home Waxing Kit Wax Warmer Hair Removal Waxing Kit – Professional at Home Waxing Kit – Wax Machine for Body Wax – Hard Wax Kit Wax Pot – Waxing Pot Brazilian Wax Kit – Hard Wax Warmer Wax Heater